Blue Jewel
by MysticVeil
Summary: The past is the past, and if I learned one thing from it, it's you can never change it. The pain I caused her was terrible. Now I know what I did was wrong and I need to repair the damage I caused.She may have been an elf, but she meant more to me than I would ever like to admit.
1. Chapter 1

_Miriel stares at me, her dark blue eyes holding mine. Her slender arms are wrapped around her body, as if sheltering her from me. But her actions do not stop my angry words, words I needed to say._

_"How dare you come to me now? You were not there when Erebor fell. Where were you?" I don't yell at her, because I know that I don't need to. I wear a necklace she gave me around my throat. It's simple silver, with a pendant of blue stone. She said it would protect me. It didn't do a good job of protecting me, and much less my home. And now it burns my skin, as if it was fire._

_"I am truly sorry, Thorin. I did not know... No one told me. Please-"_

_"I do not want to hear your lies. Get out of my sight, elf. You sicken me. I never want to see your face again." I tell her. I rip the silver necklace off my throat, and toss it at her feet. The elf's face crumples. She doesn't say another word to me. She takes the necklace from the ground, straightens to her full height, and walks away, so silently, as always. I'm happy that she leaves. The elf was my friend once, a long time ago. But she betrayed me when she never came when I needed her most. She knows how to fight, and she's good with a bow and arrow. But she never came to help us._

_I go back to my work. Anger fuels my body, making me work harder, faster. Anger for the dragon, anger for the Elves, anger for Miriel. The woman who was once my friend, who will now become nothing more than a painful memory, one I wish to forget... But one I'm also scared to lose..._

My eyes shoot open. Another night, another dream about her. The twelve other dwarves, beside Kili who's on watch, are asleep. The hobbit and wizard are too. Its early morning, and we should be leaving soon. I tell Kili to wake the others, but I don't want to deal with them presently. I escape to a quiet rock by the ponies, relishing the time alone even if it's brief. But it's not a relaxing time. Miriel haunts my thoughts. I knew I shouldn't have acted so harshly to her. I met her met when she came to Erebor, with a message from one of her kin. She was kind, and spoke to me as if I was one of her own kind. She became my friend, perhaps the closest I've had... I remember one time in particular, when we were closest...

_No one ever likes to admit they're hurt or need help. But it bothers me to no end. I would never admit I needed help, because usually I do not. I can take care of myself, I've always been able to do that._

_I've left Erebor, with plans to meet with Miriel today. Her last visit was over two months ago and she said to meet her in exactly two months time. Miriel is a free spirit, and I never know precisely know where she will be, but she said she will be somewhere along the way to Long Lake. The elf is ridiculous, but I truly miss her company so I would wait for her. But I was not the only one waiting along the lakeside. In our home in Erebor, my grandfather has begun to grow paranoid and angry. He has banished some of our own kind from Erebor, stating that if they ever return they'll be killed. We did not know where they went, I assumed they went far away from Erebor. But I was wrong. A group of three men whom my grandfather banished has settled along the river running to Long Lake, where Miriel said she would be. Luckily she wasn't there when they found me. Three on one is hard at most times, but these men were not used to combat, which in itself was shameful upon our kind. I took down the first easily, but the second was able to cut my side with a knife. I grabbed a knife which was in my boot, and wedged it in his heart. When I turn to the third, I find he's already dead... An arrow sticking out of his back. Miriel is standing behind him, sadness clouding her bright eyes. I know she doesn't like to kill anything on this earth, unless she has no other choice._

_"He was going to kill you." she says softly, nodding to the dead dwarf at my feet._

_"I know. What you did will save many from this pig, do not let sadness consume you, Miriel. " I tell her._

_"How can I not?" she says softly. I roll my eyes, but then a stinging pain from the wound in my side makes me hiss in pain. Miriel is at my side in an instant, clearly worried._

_"What happened?" she asks._

_"What do you think, elf?" I growl. She glares at me, and then she pushes softly to the ground._

_"Stay still," she says and her eyes scan the forest floor, and she finds her desired object. A small white flower. She picks it and pops the bud off with her finger. I'm only wearing a shirt, due to the hot weather, and no armor, which was stupid on my part, but I was not expecting to have to fight anyone. Miriel rips off some more of my shirt, to allow her easier access to my wound._

_"This may sting a little," she says and then stuffs the flower buds in my wound. "But this will prevent infection." she tells me. It does sting, but it's nothing unbearable._

_"Thanks," I mumble, somewhat ashamed of needing her help._

_"You would do the same, would you not?" she asks._

_"Yes, I would." I assure her. She sits beside me, her legs drawn up to her chest. The elf is clearly different from the other of her kind. She hates to stay in the same place for too long. Her skin has tanned from being out in the sun so much. Her long black hair has a single braid in it, identical to mine. I reach over, capturing the braid and I run my thumb along the smoothness of it. _

_"How are you?" I ask her. _

_"Tired." is her only answer. I lean back on the rock behind me, and Miriel curls up beside me, her head resting on my thigh and her eyes closed. I know she doesn't do this with anyone else, she doesn't feel comfortable with anyone else to do it. It's a vulnerable position to say the least, but she knows I would protect her, even if it meant my death. I would die without a second thought for her. _

_We stay like this for hours, talking quietly to each other. This was the time we both treasured, the time when we could just talk and pretend that there is not a care in the world. It was a simple time, a happy time. But nothing happy and good ever lasts, that much I've learned..._

The past is the past, and if I learned another thing it's you can never change it. No matter what you do or say can fix the damage. So now I push the painful past from my mind and return to the group and prepare for another day on the road.

o0o

Encountering three trolls was not what I expected for the day's journey. But they're defeated now... Thanks to the hobbit. I have to admit he was quick thinking, but it was still his fault we even met them in the first place.

We're in the troll's cave, searching for anything that could be of use. The smell is positively revolting, but what else can you expect from trolls. I see gold and precious items, but nothing I will bring with me. But then something catches my eye... A delicate silver chain half hidden under a leaf. I brush the disgusting leaf away... And my heart stops. The necklace I wore for so long... The necklace Miriel gave me, the one I threw back at her feet. How could the trolls have gotten it? There's no way they could have killed her... They're bumbling idiots and she's a swift fighter. She could have easily escaped them. Easily. There's no way she could be dead... She can't be. I take the necklace and put it once more around my throat, the pendant falling in place on my chest, but I quickly hid it in my armor. I know she's alive, and when I find her I will return it. We leave the disgusting cave and mere moments later there's a loud rustling in the forest, and then a crazy looking man appears on a sleigh being pulled by... Rabbits?

The insane man turns out to know Gandalf, and his name is Radagast. He speaks to Gandalf, but I am thoroughly convinced he is merely a crazy man who has been trapped in the woods for too long. But then there's another noise, a loud roar.

"Was that a wolf?" Bilbo says, nervousness peaking in his voice.

It was no wolf.

Now we're running. We're being hunted by Orcs. The insane Radagast has run off, leading the Orcs away from us. I doubt I'll ever see him again, but I do not think about it. We continue running, and then the battle with the Orcs begin when one of them finds us and attack us, and we kill it of course. But the dying cries of the animal and Orc draw the others. Gandalf has abandoned us, damn coward. We're ready to fight, we always are and we always will be. But before we can kill all of them, Gandalf reappears.

"In here, you fools!" he yells. He's standing in a deep crevice in the rocks. I send the others down first and then I join them. Then I hear the noise I've grown to hate. The sound of an Elven horn. But Gandalf ushers us through the tunnel without another word.

We reach the end... and I see the sight I never wanted to see. Rivendell. I knew Gandalf wanted us to go there all along, but I wanted nothing to do with the elves... But then I realize something. Miriel once told me she was often in Rivendell, as she has kin residing there. Maybe there was a reason we needed to come here...

Gandalf makes me show our treasured map to that elf lord. I didn't want to, but in the end what choice did I have? The elf tells us the entrance to the Lonely Mountain will be revealed if we are there a certain time, and the sun will show the door.

With that advice, I left the elf and Gandalf. I return to my group of dwarves, who are eating happily. I sit down, accepting an apple from Kili. But as he hands it to me, I see him stiffen and he glares at something behind me. I turn around, and there stands Miriel. Relief washes over me, like a wave upon the sand. I knew she couldn't have died. She doesn't seem angry or repulsed by my kin, instead she looks at me.

"May I speak with you privately? Please," she asks, her voice so soft it's a mere whisper. I nod, and she leads me away from the group and to a private garden. There's a fountain in the middle of the garden, and she goes to it, letting her fingers graze the surface of the water. She doesn't look at me right away, but I can't take my eyes off her. She's in a simple white dress, her dark hair falling in waves down her back. Her jaw is clenched tightly and she's still not speaking. She has changed from our last bitter meet. She moves slowly now, as if she's afraid to step an invisible small creature. The happiness she possessed has disappeared... Prehaps it's my fault. The braid in her hair, the one that matched mine, is now gone. Her hair is held back by a sIlver head-piece. She looks now like every other elf, nothing different that ever once distinguished her remains. She used to remind me of a bird, a bird who was happy and flew free... But now she's broken and caged. She finally turns to me, and I see tears staining her cheeks. Her blue eyes that were once so bright are now clouded by sadness, a sadness that was undoubtedly caused by me.

"Why are you here?" she asks me.

"I did not want to come," I tell her. My small answer causes more tears to make their way down her cheeks. "But I have something I need to give you." I continue. I pull out the necklace from where it was hidden, and her eyes open wide.

"Where did you find that?" she asks as I drop the necklace into her awaiting palm.

"In a troll cave... I thought they had killed you." I tell her, my voice falling to a whisper as I shudder at the painful idea.

"And did that bring you joy? To think that I was dead and you would never have to see my face again?" she asks me. Her words have cut me deeper than any weapon could. To know that the woman I was once so close with now thought I wanted her dead.

"If I ever received that news, I would never feel joy again." I tell her. And I'm speaking truthfully. I do not want to think of what the world would be like without her in it.

"I am truly sorry not helping you. I know you would always come to my aid if ever I needed you to," she says. She stands and walks over to me, and clasps the necklace around my neck once more. "Let this serve as a reminder to you that no matter what happens, we will see each other again. We'll find our way back to each other, we always do." she whispers. She leans down and presses her soft lips against my forehead. Once she pulls away, I hear Fili swear something so loudly and so vile that I know I must return to the dwarves.

"Goodbye, my friend." I whisper. She nods, and sits down on the fountain and I walk away from her. I don't know if I'll ever see her again, and it does hurt me to think I might never see my friend. I often wonder what would have happened had she not been born an elf, if she was of our kind. I may have married her... I could have fallen in love with her. I fear that her being an elf didn't stop that. I look back once more at her sitting by the fountain, and the moon is casting a pale glow on her face. It may be the last time I'll ever see her, but this is the way it has to be. And if we never meet again in this life, I will be waiting for her in the next.


	2. Chapter 2

Red hot pain rips through me. The wounds that litter my body are painful and severe. I know that I do not have long left. The battle was long and painful. Fili and Kili... My dear nephews are gone. I am glad I cannot see Dis. I do not want to witness the pain that will be in her face.

I try to shift, but the pain is too much. It spreads like fire across my body. Gandalf has just left to go looking for the hobbit. I want to make amends before I leave this world. I hear the soft rustle of fabric, the sound of the curtain of the tent opening. I look over, expecting to see the small hobbit. But it's not him. It's Miriel. How is she here? I do not care for the answer. She is here.

The elf looks frightened, heart-broken and almost mad. She walks over to me, silently, as if she's afraid she'll make a noise and bother me. I can see the tears welling in her sapphire eyes, and soon they spill over, paving a path down her cheek. She reaches me, dropping to her knees. Her mouth is open, and she's unable to speak for a few moments. Her long hair has slipped off her shoulders and tickles my arm.

"Oh, Thorin..." she whispers. More tears make their way down her cheek, and she chokes back a sob.

"I hate it when you cry," I tell her. I tried to make my voice louder, but it came out a broken whisper. Speaking hurts too much. She forces a smile, but fright is still too clearly visible in her face. "Do not be scared." I whisper.

"How can I not? You're the only thing that means something to me. I cannot bear to see you like this." she reveals. She places her hand on my chest and I reach up, clutching it tightly.

"How did you come to be here?" I ask.

"I was never far away from you. I followed you... I would follow you into the dark. I should have come sooner... I am so sorry-" she tells me but I stop her.

"This is not your fault. Do not let yourself think it is. Just...Stay with me?" I ask her. I know I do not have long left. I want to be with her until the end. She is my dearest friend, and I do not want any other beside me.

"Always." she responds. She retrieves a cloth from where Balin left it on the ground, and returns to my side. She begins wiping it across my face, removing the dirt and blood. Once she finishes, she lays down at my side, curling up and resting her head gingerly on my shoulder. Her fingers trace circles along my chest. More tears roll down her cheeks.

Bilbo comes in soon after. I apologize for my actions. I know they were wrong and I caused the Hobbit pain. I did not intend to do it, I've grown to enjoy the Hobbit's company. I'm glad I could see the Hobbit smile one last time.

I can feel myself starting to slip away. It hurts but it's almost pleasant to have a release from the pain. Miriel sits up and puts her hand on the side of my cheek, her thumb running across my cheek and then over my bleeding lips. Her face is starting to blur... The sapphire is growing dim.

"Thorin?" she whispers.

"I need to leave now... Goodbye, my dear Miriel." I tell her. I've never been one to show my emotions... I've never shown how I truly feel. But I want her to know that even though my heart is nothing more than a cold piece of stone... It belongs to her. It always has, even though I would never want to admit it. Her sapphire eyes are so bright now, tears making them shine. I hear her release a sob. I feel her lips on my head.

"Go home now to the great halls. Goodbye... My love." she whispers.

I stare into the sapphire eyes... And then everything is white.

_**Hello! So I was going to leave this story as just a one-shot, but then I got this idea while sitting in class so I really wanted to write it. I know it's super... Mushy, but I'm in a very emotional mood so this is the result. Leave a review petty please :)**_


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